Friday, June 15, 2012

A Year in Titles


After an extremely long hiatus I’ve decided to streamline my return to the world of blogging by presenting to you a list of potential book or newspaper article titles that are representative of my year in San Francisco.

Without further ado…
  • Weekends; An Overrated Pastime 
  • Thursdays – The New Saturday
  •  My social life – A Thing of the Past
  •  My Roommate, My Cousin, My Co-Homeowner (will consider abbreviating to “Co-Homo” if short for space on the book cover)
  •  Scootering Vol 1: A Time for Introspection
  • Scootering Vol 2: A Series of Near Misses
  • Scootering (Vol 2, Ch 1): What to Do if You’ve Just Accidentally Gotten on the Freeway
  •  Neighborhood Profiles; Judy Wong of Wong’s Cleaners
  • The Pros and Cons of Having an In-House Band
  • Band Management 101
  • DST,* It’s Just Not For Me
  • Teleportation: No Longer a Thing of the Past
  • SMU*; an Expose in Two Acts
  • Tracy Chase; the Erin Brokovich of SMU
  • Becoming a Successful Tutor (OR, How I Force Underclassmen to Listen to my 35 Minute Diatribe Regarding My Issues with the “Administration”)
  • Nursing school; 12 Months Seems Excessive…Let’s Get This Done in Three
  • The 3 Month ANA Accredited Accelerated BSN Program; A Proposal
  • Conversations Between Kelly and Dawn*: An Observational Reflection
  • One Point Away from an A: My Downward Spiral
  • Become a Morning Person in 12 Steps or Less
  • Accepting That You’re Not a Morning Person and Moving On
  • Cereal: Telltale Signs That You’ve Had Too Many Bowls
  • Cereal: The Essential Vitamin
  • Tanka Dogs: The Essential Mineral
  • It’s Sushi Time! (Co-authored by Annie Maxwell)
  • Hipsters: Enough is Enough
  • Hipsters: The Fixie Bike That Broke the Trex’s Back
  • Fixie Bikes: Best to Just Call it a Single Speed
  • The Squirt Fashioned; A new take on an old drink
  • What to do When Lent Gets in the Way of Your Alcoholism and Sugar Addiction
  • Sugar Addiction: What’s Not to Like?
  • Uncle Judy Comes for a Visit
  • Citizens Against People Pooping in the Middle of the Sidewalk
  • A Visit Home  (Alternate Title: Vacationing in the RV in My Mom’s Driveway)
  • Trans Pacific Relationships: Do’s and Don’ts
  • In-flight Seizures: An Economically Sound Way to Upgrade to Business Class During Long-Haul International Flights
  • Big Choices, New Directions; Searching for Employment during an Economic Recession (written under the pseudonym Stella Chase)
  • Getting Yourself Noticed: The Art of Using Glitter and Scented Perfume on Résumés and Research Posters
  • My Time of Personal Growth and Transformation in the Foggy City (also by Stella Chase)
*DST: Daylight Savings Time
*SMU: Stupid Moronic University
*Imaginary nursing school friends

If anyone is interested in publishing one of these titles, please contact my agent, Stella B. Chase.

Thank you for your time and cooperation!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have copied and pasted the entire blog to my Evernote "Books to be Read when they are Published, depending on the reviews and Availability at the SB Public Library" list.
The titles don't appear to be entirely based in reality, a form of pseudo hybrid non-fiction....but certainly brllliant and evocative. We've come to expect no less.

J., CEO

Warren said...

LOLZ.

Dania Patricia Maxwell said...

How am I not reading these already?