Wednesday, February 26, 2014

2014 Trex Winter Games/Trials and Tribulations

I was awoken this morning by my new alarm clock (see video).  After said alarm clock was walked and fed, I headed out on the town to start my day. I was excited and optimistic. And then I was immediately pulled over for driving the wrong way down a one-way street. I was confused and in an “unfamiliar town” (aka Kalispell) so the cop was nice and didn’t give me a ticket. Next, I headed up the road to Big Mountain to go snowboarding and had the great fortune of sighting a baby elk grazing on the side of the road. At first I thought it was a very large mutant deer but, surprisingly, I turned out to be wrong. A bit later on, whilst skiing, I got a little overly excited and hopped on a lift a bit too quickly and got yelled at by the lift lady. I was naturally mortified and vowed to never return to that same lift for the remainder of the day. Unfortunately, my plans were side tracked when I dropped my glove about 30 seconds after being on that lift and had to come right back down to retrieve my lost item. The lift girl that had just yelled at me 10 minutes before was like “slow down this time, girl.” So I awkwardly laughed at her and pretended like it was my first time on a mountain (besides the time when I cruised up with Frodo to get rid of the One Ring). On my way back from snowboarding I had to stop at the orthodontist to pick up a retainer to fix my snaggle tooth. (So I’m finally getting that taken care of, which is good.) After getting my face fixed I headed up Hellroaring Road with Stella in tow for a bit of a snow-shoe. This ended up being more of a “gravel-shoe” but we persevered nonetheless. (I invited Barry Llama along but he graciously declined). As I returned back to my humble Polson abode I encountered my friendly neighbor Larry who, once again, informed me that “YOU HAVE A PACKAGE AT YOUR BACK DOOR” (Larry likes to greet most people in a louder, shouting voice). As usual, the package was from Zappos. I’ll return whatever it is next month. I think it’s a new backpack because I have a weird backpack obsession. I didn’t have time to open it because I was straight out the door after dropping off Stella to head to yoga with Kristin. Before my yoga class started, Kristin (the teacher) was asking me about “moving away” and so we started talking about my plans to head Down Under. There was one other lady in the class, she seemed to be in her late 40’s, and was one of those women that perhaps made poor choices in the past but has now “found herself” and thus knows everything there is to know about life. Upon hearing about my plans to move to Australia to be with my boyfriend, she immediately launched into a horrendous story about her cousin who moved to Australia and had a child with a man there, they have since split up and her cousin is unable to return home with the child because of their immigration laws. She cautioned me to “really be sure I knew what I was doing.” Thanks lady. Anyway, now I’m sitting around, watching “Girls” on HBO, and getting pissed off that one of the characters stole my idea for making a music video re-make to Edie Brickell’s song “What I Am” – I still maintain that my version is superior.

In conclusion, the results of today’s “Winter Games” will be released tomorrow but I’m pretty sure I’ll be taking home at least a silver medal based on today’s performance.

[apologies for the train of thought nature of this post and any glaring grammatical errors…you nose it’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I was trying to "get this out there" as soon as possible]