Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Talking to Yourself While Driving is ALWAYS a Hands-Free Activity...

On a scale of 1 to 10, the amount of entertainment that I am able to provide myself after drinking 3 cups of coffee is about a 14.

I discovered this fact on my drive home from Starbucks tonight after a few extremely focused hours of studying...I did not stop talking to myself for a second throughout the duration of my 12 minute drive.

Topics that I discussed...
  • what the ticket dispenser at the parking lot would say to its girlfriend if it wanted to break up with her
  • how long the CIA has been accessing my computer
  • if it would be better to be hit by a train or shot by a sniper rifle
  • when I open my own bar, I'll name it Kitty's (and we will have Lazer-tag there)
  • whether or not people think I'm crazy when they see me talking and laughing hysterically and they realize I'm not talking to another person on the phone (the conclusion I came to: even I think I'm crazy while this is actually going on, so those other people (and those of you reading this) must think I'm crazy too)
  • if I should be worried about the emerging pattern in my life of people mistakenly assuming that I'm either drunk or high (more on that in a future blog...tentatively titled; "When 10 years of controlled substance abuse starts to catch up with you...")
  • if I should I wait until my heart rate is above 100 to call for an ambulance or just give em a shout now (preemptively)

I would say goodnight, but I'm pretty sure I'll be up for the next 72 hours. Unlike my friend, Samuel*, pictured below

A dinosaur disguised as an armadillo dressed up as crack-dealer

*Samuel is also a reservoir for the bacteria that causes Leprosy (M.Leprae)