Friday, June 15, 2012

A Year in Titles

After an extremely long hiatus I’ve decided to streamline my return to the world of blogging by presenting to you a list of potential book or newspaper article titles that are representative of my year in San Francisco.

Without further ado…
  • Weekends; An Overrated Pastime 
  • Thursdays – The New Saturday
  •  My social life – A Thing of the Past
  •  My Roommate, My Cousin, My Co-Homeowner (will consider abbreviating to “Co-Homo” if short for space on the book cover)
  •  Scootering Vol 1: A Time for Introspection
  • Scootering Vol 2: A Series of Near Misses
  • Scootering (Vol 2, Ch 1): What to Do if You’ve Just Accidentally Gotten on the Freeway
  •  Neighborhood Profiles; Judy Wong of Wong’s Cleaners
  • The Pros and Cons of Having an In-House Band
  • Band Management 101
  • DST,* It’s Just Not For Me
  • Teleportation: No Longer a Thing of the Past
  • SMU*; an Expose in Two Acts
  • Tracy Chase; the Erin Brokovich of SMU
  • Becoming a Successful Tutor (OR, How I Force Underclassmen to Listen to my 35 Minute Diatribe Regarding My Issues with the “Administration”)
  • Nursing school; 12 Months Seems Excessive…Let’s Get This Done in Three
  • The 3 Month ANA Accredited Accelerated BSN Program; A Proposal
  • Conversations Between Kelly and Dawn*: An Observational Reflection
  • One Point Away from an A: My Downward Spiral
  • Become a Morning Person in 12 Steps or Less
  • Accepting That You’re Not a Morning Person and Moving On
  • Cereal: Telltale Signs That You’ve Had Too Many Bowls
  • Cereal: The Essential Vitamin
  • Tanka Dogs: The Essential Mineral
  • It’s Sushi Time! (Co-authored by Annie Maxwell)
  • Hipsters: Enough is Enough
  • Hipsters: The Fixie Bike That Broke the Trex’s Back
  • Fixie Bikes: Best to Just Call it a Single Speed
  • The Squirt Fashioned; A new take on an old drink
  • What to do When Lent Gets in the Way of Your Alcoholism and Sugar Addiction
  • Sugar Addiction: What’s Not to Like?
  • Uncle Judy Comes for a Visit
  • Citizens Against People Pooping in the Middle of the Sidewalk
  • A Visit Home  (Alternate Title: Vacationing in the RV in My Mom’s Driveway)
  • Trans Pacific Relationships: Do’s and Don’ts
  • In-flight Seizures: An Economically Sound Way to Upgrade to Business Class During Long-Haul International Flights
  • Big Choices, New Directions; Searching for Employment during an Economic Recession (written under the pseudonym Stella Chase)
  • Getting Yourself Noticed: The Art of Using Glitter and Scented Perfume on Résumés and Research Posters
  • My Time of Personal Growth and Transformation in the Foggy City (also by Stella Chase)
*DST: Daylight Savings Time
*SMU: Stupid Moronic University
*Imaginary nursing school friends

If anyone is interested in publishing one of these titles, please contact my agent, Stella B. Chase.

Thank you for your time and cooperation!