My plight of trying to be cool in the face of adversity continues to be a lifelong struggle for me. I've decided to take up (electric shock) therapy which will hopefully prove helpful. Perhaps it's something in the water? I recently learning about the E. Coli 0157 outbreak that happened in Canada about 10 years ago...turns out, in that case, it really was in the water. That wasn't too helpful for all the people that were being told to drink lots of water to keep hydrated. Bloody diarrhea, apparently, is quite dehydrating. Anyway, I digress. What I mean to say is, not that I'm having a bout of bloody diarrhea right now, but that I don't understand why I can't be more slick? Case in point: I've recently enrolled in a MCAT prep course (as a side note: don't ever take one of these things for fun, they are, quite simply, awful), and my first night was this past Tuesday (or, Tuesday past, depending on your era of origin). So about halfway through our 3 hour class, our teacher let us out for a 10 minute break. Naturally, I took this opportunity to go purchase a garden salad for myself so as to quell my voracious appetite (nothing like a few pieces of lettuce and a cherry tomato to satiate oneself). Because of the short length of our break, I felt compelled to take my salad back to our classroom and eat there. So, there I was, learning about verbal reasoning passage strategies and calmly enjoying my delicious salad. Unfortunately, things quickly went downhill from here. As I placed my salad in my lap to pour some ranch dressing on top, I somehow manage to flip the entire thing over, effectively pouring an entire side of ranch onto my black yoga pants (I wear yoga pants just in case we do a break-out yoga sesh in the middle of class as a stress-managing technique). Naturally, I panicked. I didn't want any of my new classmates to see what had become of me so I took the paper bag that my salad had come in and covered up the mess I had made. At the same time, I was trying to stealthily clean the ranch off of my pants with a smallish napkin. Unfortunately, this was just making it all worse. Then, as if I wasn't embarrassed enough, the rest of my salad fell out of my lap onto the floor. My one cherry tomato (why do they always only give you one??) rolled to the other side of the room and there were red onions and carrots everywhere. The girl sitting next to me had to help me clean it all up. Needless to say, this is the last time I'll be eating in my MCAT class.
Moving on to something more exciting... I have finally found a boyfriend! It turns out, my dating website is an absolute winner. The amount of stellar inquisitions from quality boys I have gotten as a result of that website is staggering. It was hard for me to decide who I would end up with, but I think that I've made the right decision and I hope all of you will agree. His given name is Hellotoyoutoday (I think it's French) and he is a 22 year old business/entrepreneur. In his profile under the category I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT...he wrote: "Would I become a jackass if I suddenly inherited a billion dollars?" To that I say, honey, I think you're already there, estate tax-free. Please see the attached picture to get a better idea of his true beauty.
What a great photo to have on your okCupid profile, right. I've always wanted to date someone that has face that looks like a camera.
In further news, I have resigned from my post as cookie deliveree. I know this may come as quite a shock to many of you, considering that this was the whole reason I moved to Berkeley, but I've decided to pursue my other passion of online gaming. More on that later though.
I think that Stella has possibly swallowed one of her squeakie toys. I cannot be sure as of yet but I will definitely keep you posted (via intermittent radio broadcasts that will be announced by sirens and flashing lights). I tried to induce the noise by pressing on her this morning (Stella, is the pain reproducible?) but, unfortunately, this just caused her to fart on me.
Which one of these toys has Stella ingested??
After much deliberation, I have decided not do crack. Thank you for all of your support on this matter.
With all the knowledge in the world,
Trex
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