I was awoken this morning by my new alarm clock (see video). After said alarm clock was walked and fed, I headed out on the town to start my day. I was excited and optimistic. And then I was immediately pulled over for driving the
wrong way down a one-way street. I was confused and in an “unfamiliar town”
(aka Kalispell) so the cop was nice and didn’t give me a ticket. Next, I headed
up the road to Big Mountain to go snowboarding and had the great fortune of
sighting a baby elk grazing on the side of the road. At first I thought it was
a very large mutant deer but, surprisingly, I turned out to be wrong. A bit
later on, whilst skiing, I got a little overly excited and hopped on a lift a
bit too quickly and got yelled at by the lift lady. I was naturally mortified
and vowed to never return to that same lift for the remainder of the day.
Unfortunately, my plans were side tracked when I dropped my glove about 30
seconds after being on that lift and had to come right back down to retrieve my
lost item. The lift girl that had just yelled at me 10 minutes before was like
“slow down this time, girl.” So I awkwardly laughed at her and pretended like
it was my first time on a mountain (besides the time when I cruised up with
Frodo to get rid of the One Ring). On my way back from snowboarding I had to
stop at the orthodontist to pick up a retainer to fix my snaggle tooth. (So I’m
finally getting that taken care of, which is good.) After getting my face fixed
I headed up Hellroaring Road with Stella in tow for a bit of a snow-shoe. This
ended up being more of a “gravel-shoe” but we persevered nonetheless. (I
invited Barry Llama along but he graciously declined). As I returned back to my
humble Polson abode I encountered my friendly neighbor Larry who, once again,
informed me that “YOU HAVE A PACKAGE AT YOUR BACK DOOR” (Larry likes to greet
most people in a louder, shouting voice). As usual, the package was from
Zappos. I’ll return whatever it is next month. I think it’s a new backpack
because I have a weird backpack obsession. I didn’t have time to open it
because I was straight out the door after dropping off Stella to head to yoga
with Kristin. Before my yoga class started, Kristin (the teacher) was asking me about “moving
away” and so we started talking about my plans to head Down Under. There was
one other lady in the class, she seemed to be in her late 40’s, and was one of
those women that perhaps made poor choices in the past but has now “found
herself” and thus knows everything there is to know about life. Upon hearing
about my plans to move to Australia to be with my boyfriend, she immediately launched into a horrendous story about her cousin who moved to Australia and had a
child with a man there, they have since split up and her cousin is unable to
return home with the child because of their immigration laws. She cautioned me
to “really be sure I knew what I was doing.” Thanks lady. Anyway, now I’m
sitting around, watching “Girls” on HBO, and getting pissed off that one of the
characters stole my idea for making a music video re-make to Edie Brickell’s
song “What I Am” – I still maintain that my version is superior.
In conclusion, the results of today’s “Winter Games” will be
released tomorrow but I’m pretty sure I’ll be taking home at least a silver
medal based on today’s performance.
[apologies for the train of thought nature of this
post and any glaring grammatical errors…you nose it’s been so long since I’ve blogged, I was trying to "get this out there" as soon as possible]
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