I discovered this fact on my drive home from Starbucks tonight after a few extremely focused hours of studying...I did not stop talking to myself for a second throughout the duration of my 12 minute drive.
Topics that I discussed...
- what the ticket dispenser at the parking lot would say to its girlfriend if it wanted to break up with her
- how long the CIA has been accessing my computer
- if it would be better to be hit by a train or shot by a sniper rifle
- when I open my own bar, I'll name it Kitty's (and we will have Lazer-tag there)
- whether or not people think I'm crazy when they see me talking and laughing hysterically and they realize I'm not talking to another person on the phone (the conclusion I came to: even I think I'm crazy while this is actually going on, so those other people (and those of you reading this) must think I'm crazy too)
- if I should be worried about the emerging pattern in my life of people mistakenly assuming that I'm either drunk or high (more on that in a future blog...tentatively titled; "When 10 years of controlled substance abuse starts to catch up with you...")
- if I should I wait until my heart rate is above 100 to call for an ambulance or just give em a shout now (preemptively)
I would say goodnight, but I'm pretty sure I'll be up for the next 72 hours. Unlike my friend, Samuel*, pictured below
Sincerely,A dinosaur disguised as an armadillo dressed up as crack-dealer
*Samuel is also a reservoir for the bacteria that causes Leprosy (M.Leprae)
5 comments:
So..
1) train or sniper rifle? I would def choose the sniper! especially if he (yes, I am gender profiling. it's ok, it's socially acceptable, as long as I still love gays, blacks, and jews! Damn. Random thought: I don't think I have ever met a gay, black jew. I need to add that to my list of things to do before I die.) is as badass as Mark Wahlberg in Shooter.
2) I would frequent your bar. In fact, I support you dropping out of school to pursue this endeavor.
3) I should probably stop there.. or perhaps start my own blog. It appears I have a lot to say.. apparently living alone also causes you to write really long blog comments.. and talk to yourself (you are not alone my friend)!
on a scale of 1 to 10, the amount of entertainment you provide me when you drink 3 cups of coffee is a 15. i love the leprosy sidenote.
Went for a walk downtown today. LOTS of people talking to themselves.
oh wow. i remember your talks about your own bar... but they were with annie. you will have clear glass floors so people can see the intense lazer tagging beneath them. this was right after you kicked dads butt in lazerstarrr <3
So I have an idea for you next blog topic...."Movies not to watch on your computer when you are flying from Denver to Akron/Canton, especially when your stewardess (that's right, stewardess) is a Bitch!". My number one choice is Zack and Miri make a Porno. And make sure not to pause it when they ask you for drinks at the part where Zack and Miri are interviewing the strippers. Still of bare boobs = not appropriate. Good thing we didn't have the volume on and the lady next to us was asleep, I think??
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