Dearest Secret Diary...

I can't stop thinking about that boy that swept me off my feet 6 short years ago. Every day I wake up in my sketchy south Berkeley neighborhood and wish that I could be transported back to that perfect night. Every day I wake up and think...if only I could be making out in the back of a taxi cab right now with that special someone.

Instead I am all alone in this town filled with people that don't shave their armpits and smell like fennel and beets.

At least I have Stella to spoon me and my ollaliberry to keep me company.

I will leave you, my sweet diary, with the following words of wisdom...

"Dark times call for darker measures."

"If you can't beat em, hit them over the head with a can of minestrone soup."

"Your caliber is only outweighed by the size of your gun."

"If I had a gun I wouldn't have needed this horse."

"If it weren't for this horse I never would have spent that year in college."

With much trepidation regarding the state of Santa Barbara, I bid you adieu and goodnight,
Trex