Talking to Yourself While Driving is ALWAYS a Hands-Free Activity...

On a scale of 1 to 10, the amount of entertainment that I am able to provide myself after drinking 3 cups of coffee is about a 14.

I discovered this fact on my drive home from Starbucks tonight after a few extremely focused hours of studying...I did not stop talking to myself for a second throughout the duration of my 12 minute drive.

Topics that I discussed...

• what the ticket dispenser at the parking lot would say to its girlfriend if it wanted to break up with her
• how long the CIA has been accessing my computer
• if it would be better to be hit by a train or shot by a sniper rifle
• when I open my own bar, I'll name it Kitty's (and we will have Lazer-tag there)
• whether or not people think I'm crazy when they see me talking and laughing hysterically and they realize I'm not talking to another person on the phone (the conclusion I came to: even I think I'm crazy while this is actually going on, so those other people (and those of you reading this) must think I'm crazy too)
• if I should be worried about the emerging pattern in my life of people mistakenly assuming that I'm either drunk or high (more on that in a future blog...tentatively titled; "When 10 years of controlled substance abuse starts to catch up with you...")
• if I should I wait until my heart rate is above 100 to call for an ambulance or just give em a shout now (preemptively)

I would say goodnight, but I'm pretty sure I'll be up for the next 72 hours. Unlike my friend, Samuel*, pictured below

Sincerely,
A dinosaur disguised as an armadillo dressed up as crack-dealer

*Samuel is also a reservoir for the bacteria that causes Leprosy (M.Leprae)

Another Test...Sorry for the Convenience

This is Only a Test

If I wasn't a dinosaur I would want to be a churro...

Wait, actually that might be the worst idea ever (even more so than that one time my mom let me canoe around fallen leaf lake without a lifejacket OR a helmet).

I would only be okay with being a churro if carnivorism is acceptable in the churro-community.

If anyone knows someone in the churro community please give them my contact info (don't forget to let them know I'm an MPH-C...it gives me more clout).

I know I said that I wasn't going to blog tonight because of unforseen circumstances but it turns out to be a foregone conclusion.

P.S. the above photograph takes that's what she said into a whole new level...as in, that's what she saw.

Due to unforseen circumstances, this blog will not be written tonight. Sorry for any inconvenience. Please check back again at a later date.

I Love Lamp

Alternate titles:
"Back on top of the world: the story of how a little dinosaur transcends all of her self-proclaimed 'new lows'"

"My tongue is orange because of all the cheetoes (that's what she said)"

"If I'm unable to find a real human/dinosaur boyfriend I will consider looking into common household appliances"


P.S. Sean Penn gets a shout-out for his Oscar acceptance speech (even though I still can't fully accept the gays)

The Only Thing Worse than Nic Cage in National Treasure 2 is...

attempting to put on your socks after you've already put on your pants that have become too tight because you're "in school again."

It's sad when you get to the point of needing a step-stool just to get dressed. But not as sad as Nic Cage's hair...



Go ahead and start shortening my name to Tra when referring to me in an informal situation.
Tracy is just too long. (I think what I would normally say next goes without saying).