This morning, in my backyard, I happened upon the grisly and yet increasingly common scene that is pictured below.
Another possum dead.
Another life taken before it really even started.
A perpetrator still on the loose.
The frequent appearances of dead baby possums in my backyard is becoming, in my own brilliant mind, one of the great unsolved mysteries of the 21st century.
Here are the facts...they are indisputable:
1. There have been 4 murders that have occurred in my back yard to date.
2. All of the victims have been less than 1 year of age.
3. All of the victims have been either female or male.
4. The night that each murder occurs, Stella is usually heard (by my own person) to be awkwardly barking at something or someone; I say awkward because it is not a bark of joy, fear, or anger, but rather one of innocent curiosity.
From the above facts I have deduced the following:
A small mythical creature called a leprechaun has been sneaking into my yard and battling against its greatest known enemy, the baby possum.
Clearly, Stella’s curious bark is but a reaction to the strange scene she witnesses on some nights when I let her out to go to the bathroom. I am more than certain that Stella is not the perpetrator herself; we all know that she has long been a friend to the possum's (just as Gandalf is a friend to the hobbits!)
I will be sure to parlay the evidence that I have so painstakingly collected to the proper authority.
If you have any other information, I have set up an emergency hotline where anonymous information can be left: 1-800-DEADMARSUPIAL
Thank you for your time.
